Thursday, October 25, 2012

Oh, Sew You Didn't!

I'm sewing today. I guess that should actually read I'm attempting to sew. My sewing is more like a blind woman throwing needles at a dart board that is 200 yards away, behind a haystack, in pouring rain. I sort of just close my eyes and go for it.

My motto in sewing is third time's the charm, because I generally sew and rip out and sew and rip out and sew and rip out before I figure out how it goes. I've been doing that today. I'm making Halloween costumes, and I attached Sawyer's first spider arm three times before I finally got it. The first time I sewed it the wrong direction. The second time it was too long. The third time, (Hallelujah!), I got it. And I felt accomplished. Forget about the fact that three more arms need to be attached today. By the time I sew and rip those out three times apiece, I'm on schedule to finish by about six tomorrow morning.

All this sewing and resewing would be easier if I had any tools that I actually need to do the job. For instance, a pair of scissors that will cut fabric. Mine (which are clearly labeled SEWING SCISSORS: DO NOT USE on the handle), have apparently recently been used to cut duct tape or maybe toast with jelly on it or maybe already chewed chewing gum. Because they're sticky.

A seam ripper is a really handy tool for a ripping out addict like myself, but I vaguely remember Adelade using it to prop up a doll tent or to torture some poor stuffed animal while playing vet. I never saw it again. So, I've been doing all this ripping out with a kitchen knife. Now you'll understand when I'm missing a couple of fingers when Halloween rolls around. No, it's not a clever costume.

Despite all of my handicaps and lack of ability, I am really enjoying this little detour from my regular routine. It'll all be worth it when my kids are sporting their awesome costumes. If they hold together until the end of the evening on Halloween, I'm declaring myself Queen of the Ignorant Seamstresses. I'll wave and wave like I'm the Grand Marshall of the Sewing Parade, and maybe no one will notice that I'm missing a few fingers.

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