Watching home movies can be a blessing and a curse.
1. Extreme boredom. Especially if they're not YOUR home movies and you or your children are not in them. Watching a friend's unedited vacation videos has actually been known to end friendships. Just don't do it.
2. Sentimental overload. Chubby babies, cute little kids who love their mommies. Guaranteed tears and possible chocolate ice cream eating will ensue just to ease the sentimental pain.
3. What-has-happened-to-me Syndrome. Seeing yourself when you were thinner, younger, and (for you men) with more hair can be quite a blow to the old ego.
4. What-was-I-thinking Complex. Especially hurtful if you were a child of the 80s. I mean, the hair was bad. Really bad.
But, then there are the blessings.
Chad and I recently ran across some video of the kids when they were little. I realized after watching that I had actually forgotten what Adelade was like when she was Sawyer's age. How is that even possible?
I've spent hours now watching the kids cry and flail when they were just minutes old, learning to talk, walk, dance, jump, and everything else that little kids figure out. I watched Adelade reading books to her kitten Backpack, who we only had for a few months before he "went on an adventure" and we never saw him again. I saw Adelade meet Sawyer for the first time and remembered the fear that I could sense in her when she saw me lying in the hospital bed. I saw Sawyer finally learn how to get those big old thighs to crawl around, and watched Adelade take her very first nervous steps. I also saw glimpses of my parents and Chad's before illnesses and other scares had touched our family.
And I am so happy to have every single minute of it. It reminds me how faithful God is. How blessed I am. And how quickly things change in life.
Sure, I cried a few tears. I had a few what-was-I-thinking moments. But, most of all, I remembered how very privileged I am to be a woman, to be a mother, to be a wife, and to be a believer.
So, drag out some home videos. Remember how adorable that mouthy teenager used to be. And let yourself be reminded just how much God has carried you through this crazy, chaotic, tragic, and beautiful life. He is not finished with us. Many more video-worthy moments are coming. And I can't wait.